Who is a friend? Someone you like? My sister Gayle sent me a picture of our mom meeting Dorothy Lamour while riding her bike in Sudbrook Park (MD) as a teen. Did I like my mom? Sure. I liked my dad, too. Were we friends? We were friendly.....
I don't think I shared the same interests as my parents. Mom cooked. I cook. But I don't remember talking much about cooking with mom. Dad and I were both accountants - we even worked together from 1986 until he died. But what interested him didn't interest me, and vice versa.
Dad loved old cars. We went to visit Old Car John one weekend to buy a Model A that we intended to restore together - bonding. It was in bad shape, though. John suggested we look at a 65 Mustang that he had restored and was for sale in Sudbrook Park. We ended up buying the Mustang, which was in terrific shape, so no restoration - or bonding, necessary. Offhand, I think our best bonding period was when I started playing music regularly in Baltimore and Dad was between wives. I thought it was pretty cool that he would come to watch me play.
If you're reading this on Facebook, you've probably experienced the Long Lost Friend find. That happened to me yesterday evening and was very exciting. Was she a friend when I knew her in the 70's and 80's? Definitely. We hung out together in a group of friends. We talked easily. I think we understood each other.
I don't think I ever understood my parents in the same sense. If I had been introduced to Giff Blaylock or Shirley Davis at a party, I think we would have looked for commonalities, found none, and moved on.
How about this as a hierarchical model*:
- Biological love - your kids
- Romantic love
- Very close friends
- Friends
- People you like
- People you know
- People you don't know
* Actually have no idea if there is such a thing as a "hierarchical model", and too lazy to Google.
